Cause of the day

I love the ‘Back to nature’ freaks. They provide me with hours and hours of entertainment with their wild claims and stupid demands.

“We need to eliminate the modern water closet! We are flushing ourselves into a water shortage!”

“The use of fossil fuel is causing global warming and by the year 2015 the country will be under water.”

“Research proves second hand smoke causes infertility in gay men.”

“Toe fungus is part of the natural order and should be left to grow unmolested.”

“We need to dump more money into research for the cure to AIDS.”

“Deforestation is effecting the climate, read all about it in the paper tonight.”

“Clean air protest tonight! Free parking!”

Sometimes I think I need a cause. Something to feel passionate about and lecture innocent, uncaring people about when I am feeling bored or haven’t gotten enough sleep the night before.

Troll discrimination could be fun, but the other majorities have already used up the quota of interest in any discrimination claim.

The Gnome problem would be good, but they have a far better publicist than the Troll lobby. Gnomes get all the good press. (Those little drunken bastards.)

Apathy! I shall promote the benefits of apathy! That would be a great cause!

If I can only bring myself to care.