I need coffee

Hello. My name is Troll, and I am a caffeine addict….

That’s right. I am admitting my dependency right here in front of God and everybody.

When I get up in the morning, the first thing I think if is a nice hot cuppa coffee. Not just any cuppa, mind you, but a cuppa made from not stale beans and filtered water. No tap water for this Troll.

I am not to the point where I insist that all my coffee be frozen in liquid nitrogen to keep in the essential oils, but I don’t want to face coffee first thing in the morning that tastes like ass.

I think the trick is in the water. Bad water is going to make bad coffee, simple as that. My tap water in the Trollhouse would make a quarter bounce off, it’s so hard. That water can make anything taste like ass. So for me, it is ALWAYS filtered water. Tap water has never touched my coffee maker and hopefully it never will.

If I don’t get my coffee, I am just a few hours away from a migraine headache and deplorable behavior. (I mean even worse behavior than I am already known for.)

I actually think my caffeine dependency has made me more relaxed and easier to get along with. I find that I am not so angry and can actually accept that most people are just fools and don’t necessarily deserve to be tortured and then shot just for being just like all the others in their group.

I have learned to keep an emergency Frappachino hidden away just in case I have a sudden need for an emotional chill pill.

Perhaps I have that ADD thing and coffee is my potion form of Ritilin. Why not? In this age of having an excuse for anything, I think I will get ADD and NEED the coffee, espresso, or other trendy caffeinated drink as medication.

If I do it right I bet I can write something off on my taxes as medication.