What is love, anyway?

I was listening to a pop station on the radio today and something hit me. (Not literally, just a thought. I don’t think that will hurt me.)

In five minutes I bet that I heard three songs about love. They were popular songs and I think a lot of people have heard them, but do people really listen to them? Is listening to the radio like trying to eat when you have the flu? (In one hole and out all the others.)

“I can’t live without you, have to be near you, I touch myself when I think of you,” kind of song that we have all heard on the radio is prevalent in our society, but what in hell are they really singing about? I hear the word ‘love’ a lot, but it is obvious that they are not singing about ‘love’. In these songs, the word ‘love’ is being used as a euphemism for lust.

Can you define love? Do you have a clear picture in your head of love? Can you explain to others what you think of when you think of love or are you just using verbal shorthand to express attractiveness or desire? How can you decide that you want to be with someone forever when you have just met? Your potential mate could have the disposition of a rabid badger and addicted to crack, but still be stunningly sexy and appealing. You want to make a long-term commitment with that? Are you crazy?

Just because someone has eyes that you want to get lost in or butt cheeks that you could use to crack walnuts or long hair that you want to run through barefoot means that your potential mate has any values that you share. There is more to love than the hot, sweaty part that takes place between the sheets. (Or any other place that you choose. I recommend against the dryer at the Laundromat. People stop and stare.)

I know that most of the songs I hear are about lust. Sex sells, and in the music biz, its all about sales. But do YOU know the difference between lust and love? (For my older readers, this should not be a problem. My younger readers, however, could not tell the difference with ‘Fucking for Dummies’ in one hand and every sex education video ever made on their portable viewing device.)

Modern pop music promotes lust, plain and simple. They do that because people want to do IT and want to see it, hear about and do it. Censorship has done little do stem the flow of innuendo from the mouths of nubile young pretties with large firm breasts and round bottoms, or attractive young men with strong facial features, flat stomachs, and bulging biceps.

News flash; lust can lead to babies, which in turn leads to long term commitment. Remember that someone actually has to take care of the little offspring until it can take care of itself. (Sometimes this can take over eighteen years!) That is a long time. (Hence the phrase; long term commitment.)

My point is this; if you are getting into any kind of relationship and the word ‘love’ comes up, consider it a warning sign. It is time to stop and THINK about the relationship. Don’t start making marriage plans just because someone says they love you. Don’t convince yourself that you feel love when you are not really sure what it is. (It helps to know that you mean when you think of love, not just the warm and fuzzy mental pictures that songwriters give us, or poets want us to believe.)

If, after thinking about things for a good, long, comfortable while, you think you are in love, by all means go fer it! I took a short step off the bridge and fell in love with the lovely Mrs. Troll, one of the smartest things I have done in my life. (I have a good head on her shoulders.) She and I seem to be made for each other, complimenting each other in behavior and other ways. (Nudge nudge, wink wink) Love keeps men sane and women interested in life. It is more than lust and is almost as good as the songwriters would have us believe.

But no matter what the songs would tell us, think about it before you do it. When you do it, make it last, work at it, and never forget it is a gift. You are damn lucky in life if you can find someone that will tolerate you.