Beer Bongs

Texans have a long history of being a mens men, strong burley sorts with large biceps and overly large hearts who pass their spare time swilling American made beer and enjoying manly things after sweating all day at their jobs.

If the litter I see is any indication, they take beer drinking very seriously in these parts.

Where I come from, the 12-ounce can is the norm, littering highways and waterways all over New Mexico, like flowers on the prairie in spring. I heard that at one time the government was considering the 12-ounce can as the state flower, before they accepted the orange barrel in its place.

Down here in the Lower Rio Grande Valley I see no cans smaller than 16-ounce and mostly 24-ounce. No whimpy 12-ouncers down here, dammit, its 24-ounce all the way along with a cry of, “Miller Lite all nite!!” All these cans are crushed, as against someone’s forehead, thankfully not mine.

Spring break has not even started yet, tho the shops have signs advertising beer bongs are only $1.99.

I can see that the month of March shall be interesting and filled with the sounds of mass puking and police sirens.

I can’t wait.