Amazon Women on the News
I have noticed a tendency toward imposing women on local TV. When I use the word ‘imposing’, I’m not trying to be polite and lead you to think I mean large or ugly. I simply mean they would scare the hell out of me if I met them face to face.
They share a demeanor that leads one to believe that they personally make the news with hammer and anvil, driving the point home with cruel intent and swilling cheap rotgut after an evenings entertainment of torturing small woodland creatures and possible suitors.
Their clothing suggests designer body armor. Think of a scoop neck Kevlar blouse with lots of sparkles and you will be getting the idea. I half expect to see some anchorfem wearing gold chain mail and holding a seven foot spear in her left hand while Wagnerian music heralds her coming on camera.
They have a severe makeup style that vaguely reminds me of women wrestlers or transvestites. The makeup is done with sharp contrast and vivid colors. Black eyeliner is seriously black, while rouge is a large red spot on the cheekbone with very little feathering into the surrounding lighter skin color. The lipstick is bright red to pull your eye toward the words coming from her mouth and away from the eyes that are shooting lethal daggers of light into your soul.
All the hair is helmet hair, properly lacquered into place and unable to move. I would not be surprised to learn it is also Teflon coated and bullet resistant. When a head suddenly moves, each hair acts like it is attached to the scalp at both ends and does not even think about so much as a single quiver.
These are the kind of people that I would choose as bodyguards if I were as rich as The Donald; stunning, stark women that can cause a man to loose control of his bladder by just staring at him.
I bet that there are sensitive children out there that burst into tears when one of these women appears on the small screen in their home. “Mommy, the lady’s eyes make me pee….”
If Zena the Warrior Princess, had a TV news show, it would be popular here. I could believe that all the local Femcasters are fashioned after her in some way; breastplate wearing, sword wielding women on a mission to keep you up to date and informed about breaking news in the Rio Grande Valley.
“Pay attention. Worm! What I am about to tell you is IMPORTANT! If you show proper respect, I may let you lick the dog shit from my shoe.
“Next; your Accuweather with Howard Wormlish.”
It’s not that these women are unattractive, but they certainly are unappealing. I find it increasingly hard to watch the local news. They seem driven and feel capable of browbeating all audience members into submission. They want you to know that when news breaks, they are there to fix it and no nonsense.
I think I feel better watching Mr. Rogers, and I hate watching Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers never made me feel like I should put on clean underwear because I might be involved in a car accident with the man whom the police have been looking for because he escaped from jail after being convicted of sexual relations with a nine-year-old collie. I don’t want the headlines to be about my skid mark shame.
“Skid marks show man was not in control when he hit the car of a convicted dog sex criminal today in the Valley. More at 11.”
I think these ladies do more to prevent crime than all the public service announcements shown on TV. They make you want to not do bad things because they will expose your bedwetting phase when you were five years old, or that you once hit your sister when she took your dump truck and gave it to the retarded kid down the street.
I will certainly be on my best behavior while I am down here. I don’t want the world to learn about the dump truck incident.
Oh shit………..
”Blogger charged in child abuse scandal. More at 10…….worm”
They share a demeanor that leads one to believe that they personally make the news with hammer and anvil, driving the point home with cruel intent and swilling cheap rotgut after an evenings entertainment of torturing small woodland creatures and possible suitors.
Their clothing suggests designer body armor. Think of a scoop neck Kevlar blouse with lots of sparkles and you will be getting the idea. I half expect to see some anchorfem wearing gold chain mail and holding a seven foot spear in her left hand while Wagnerian music heralds her coming on camera.
They have a severe makeup style that vaguely reminds me of women wrestlers or transvestites. The makeup is done with sharp contrast and vivid colors. Black eyeliner is seriously black, while rouge is a large red spot on the cheekbone with very little feathering into the surrounding lighter skin color. The lipstick is bright red to pull your eye toward the words coming from her mouth and away from the eyes that are shooting lethal daggers of light into your soul.
All the hair is helmet hair, properly lacquered into place and unable to move. I would not be surprised to learn it is also Teflon coated and bullet resistant. When a head suddenly moves, each hair acts like it is attached to the scalp at both ends and does not even think about so much as a single quiver.
These are the kind of people that I would choose as bodyguards if I were as rich as The Donald; stunning, stark women that can cause a man to loose control of his bladder by just staring at him.
I bet that there are sensitive children out there that burst into tears when one of these women appears on the small screen in their home. “Mommy, the lady’s eyes make me pee….”
If Zena the Warrior Princess, had a TV news show, it would be popular here. I could believe that all the local Femcasters are fashioned after her in some way; breastplate wearing, sword wielding women on a mission to keep you up to date and informed about breaking news in the Rio Grande Valley.
“Pay attention. Worm! What I am about to tell you is IMPORTANT! If you show proper respect, I may let you lick the dog shit from my shoe.
“Next; your Accuweather with Howard Wormlish.”
It’s not that these women are unattractive, but they certainly are unappealing. I find it increasingly hard to watch the local news. They seem driven and feel capable of browbeating all audience members into submission. They want you to know that when news breaks, they are there to fix it and no nonsense.
I think I feel better watching Mr. Rogers, and I hate watching Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers never made me feel like I should put on clean underwear because I might be involved in a car accident with the man whom the police have been looking for because he escaped from jail after being convicted of sexual relations with a nine-year-old collie. I don’t want the headlines to be about my skid mark shame.
“Skid marks show man was not in control when he hit the car of a convicted dog sex criminal today in the Valley. More at 11.”
I think these ladies do more to prevent crime than all the public service announcements shown on TV. They make you want to not do bad things because they will expose your bedwetting phase when you were five years old, or that you once hit your sister when she took your dump truck and gave it to the retarded kid down the street.
I will certainly be on my best behavior while I am down here. I don’t want the world to learn about the dump truck incident.
Oh shit………..
”Blogger charged in child abuse scandal. More at 10…….worm”
posted by MizfiTroll at 6:06 AM
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