Gnomes

I hate Gnomes. In part, it’s a Troll thing. All Trolls hate Gnomes. It’s like dogs chasing cats and cats chasing mice. We really can’t help it. It’s hardwired into our genetic code.

Gnomes hate us as well. They love playing tricks on us, and doing things just to get us all pissed off. They think Troll rage is hilarious.

They are nocturnal little shits that spend their nights partying and being insufferably rude, then spend their days petrified in gardens, posing like statues, while resting for the next night of drunken debauchery.

Don’t believe the hype you see on TV. Things like “The Travel Gnome’ don’t exist. That is just bullshit from the Gnome Antidefamation League. They won a lawsuit years ago and have been using the money they won to promote Positive Gnome Perception.

Those decorative bastards have been hanging out around my rig here at the park and raising hell most of the night. The management has started to complain. They seem to think I am a party animal and a pig. There is Gnomeshit all over the place, and they think I have something to do with it.

I can’t blame the management for being pissed. Those perverted little bastards have been partying their collective asses off. There is Gnometrash all over the place and dead bunnies under bushes. The Gnomes have been raping the rabbits before killing them and throwing the bodies away. They are really sick little bastards.

I have to figure out a way to get the bastards to go away. It’s that, or I will be forced to move to another park.

I need a good Gnome Repellant!