The honeymoon is over

My body no longer does what I want it to, the damn ungrateful thing. Haven’t I kept it well fed and rested? Haven’t I taken it with me everywhere and involved it in my life? Haven’t we had lots of adventures together? I remember that once we even learned about sex together.

We have been involved in the most intimate of relationships, but now my body seems to think I am asking too much of it. It was certainly not complaining when we were having sex or water skiing. It was not aching when we were up all night drinking together. Now it gets stiff and aches for no reason and won’t do what I tell it to do even with OTC pain medicine and a good firm talking to.

The honeymoon is over.

I shouldn’t complain. Not many marriages can claim fifty years and still be sharing the same house. It’s just that in this case the house seems to be thinking it has had enough and wants a time out.

I can remember a day when I could ride a bicycle for sixty miles and still want to screw like a bunny when I got home. Now I can barely ride six miles and my penis acts like it is embarrassed to be seen in the same pants as me. My penis used to be trying to get outta my pants all the time, now I am challenged to find it when I have to pee.

My eyes have problems focusing, as does my mind. I think that my brain has been taking mini vacations and not telling me. There are certainly times that I can’t remember. That would explain why I don’t sleep at night. I am more rested than I thought because my brain was taking a trip outta my mind.

That would also explain why I am hurting even before I get out of bed in the morning. Just like an ungrateful body to go out have a good time and not invite me. I think that my body is embarrassed to be me. That just hurts.

I have been in denial, but now it seems obvious; if we are going to continue to live together, my body and I are going to need to go into therapy.