The Sisters
‘The Sisters’ arrived just as I was thinking that no one would want to sit next to me wayyyy in the back next to the toilet. Ah well. The plane is full. Such is life.
They immediately started going on and on about how the other sister that has never flown before is being forced to sit all alone toward the front of the plane and she was going to be scared out of her wits and look at how big her eyes are……..blah blah blah.
Lets get this straight out of the box. I knew what they were getting at and I am not insensitive, but they never actually asked if I would be willing to switch seats. They hinted and acted like it would be the manly Texan thing to do, but I am not Texan and a Troll is not a manly man. I resent people trying to manipulate me, so I did not offer to switch and decided to enjoy the seat I had.
The one sitting next to me was obviously obsessive compulsive. She wore cheap costume rings on each and every finger and always has something in her mouth. It developed that she also had to touch her food. Well, not touch so much as fondle. She would fondle anything that went into her mouth. She could not sit still. She had to be doing something all the time. She was annoying as hell. She never shut up.
In that awful period when plane passengers are getting to know a little about each other, I learned that they were on their way to Albuquerque to visit with their brother, “and get away from husbands and kids,” and that they all were still living in the same town they were born in. One nice close little family that still has Mommy telling them what to do and where to go to church.
They complained for the whole two hours. They complained about the seating, the service, the ride, the food, the drinks, having to pay for cocktails, having to be away from home, flying in general, the stewardess gossiping with her friend, how long it was taking, not knowing where they were, and the fact that it was going to be colder in Albuquerque than it is in South Texas. They complained about absolutely everything.
As we got closer to Albuquerque, I began recognizing landmarks and point them out to the sisters, trying to let them know we were getting close to landing. (and also hoping they would stop bitching.) The OC sister promptly informed me that I was wrong because we still had an hour in the air and that the pilot should at least tell the passengers were we are.
Obviously my having lived in the area for more than thirty years has left me totally ignorant of my surroundings and unable to tell time. Not to mention that in that part of New Mexico there is nothing but ranchland and dust.
When the flight attendant informed everyone that we would be landing shortly, the sisters were happy, but not as happy as I. I wanted to get as far away from these bra-wearing cretins as possible. What gets inbred in Texas should stay in Texas.
While we were waiting for the rest of the cattle to get out of the plane in front of us, the OC sister commented that she does not like traveling. I restrained myself. I did not tell her all the things that I had been thinking while having to listen to her bitch and moan her way across two states. I did not tell her that her trying to change the world to how she thought it should be would never work, how her view of the world was limited by what she wanted to see as opposed to that there is to see, or that her constant bitching made her a very unattractive girl. I didn’t say a thing.
Until now.
And, a special message to “The Sisters”, (if they should happen to read this and recognize that I am talking about them;)
If you read this, you’re too fucking close.
They immediately started going on and on about how the other sister that has never flown before is being forced to sit all alone toward the front of the plane and she was going to be scared out of her wits and look at how big her eyes are……..blah blah blah.
Lets get this straight out of the box. I knew what they were getting at and I am not insensitive, but they never actually asked if I would be willing to switch seats. They hinted and acted like it would be the manly Texan thing to do, but I am not Texan and a Troll is not a manly man. I resent people trying to manipulate me, so I did not offer to switch and decided to enjoy the seat I had.
The one sitting next to me was obviously obsessive compulsive. She wore cheap costume rings on each and every finger and always has something in her mouth. It developed that she also had to touch her food. Well, not touch so much as fondle. She would fondle anything that went into her mouth. She could not sit still. She had to be doing something all the time. She was annoying as hell. She never shut up.
In that awful period when plane passengers are getting to know a little about each other, I learned that they were on their way to Albuquerque to visit with their brother, “and get away from husbands and kids,” and that they all were still living in the same town they were born in. One nice close little family that still has Mommy telling them what to do and where to go to church.
They complained for the whole two hours. They complained about the seating, the service, the ride, the food, the drinks, having to pay for cocktails, having to be away from home, flying in general, the stewardess gossiping with her friend, how long it was taking, not knowing where they were, and the fact that it was going to be colder in Albuquerque than it is in South Texas. They complained about absolutely everything.
As we got closer to Albuquerque, I began recognizing landmarks and point them out to the sisters, trying to let them know we were getting close to landing. (and also hoping they would stop bitching.) The OC sister promptly informed me that I was wrong because we still had an hour in the air and that the pilot should at least tell the passengers were we are.
Obviously my having lived in the area for more than thirty years has left me totally ignorant of my surroundings and unable to tell time. Not to mention that in that part of New Mexico there is nothing but ranchland and dust.
When the flight attendant informed everyone that we would be landing shortly, the sisters were happy, but not as happy as I. I wanted to get as far away from these bra-wearing cretins as possible. What gets inbred in Texas should stay in Texas.
While we were waiting for the rest of the cattle to get out of the plane in front of us, the OC sister commented that she does not like traveling. I restrained myself. I did not tell her all the things that I had been thinking while having to listen to her bitch and moan her way across two states. I did not tell her that her trying to change the world to how she thought it should be would never work, how her view of the world was limited by what she wanted to see as opposed to that there is to see, or that her constant bitching made her a very unattractive girl. I didn’t say a thing.
Until now.
And, a special message to “The Sisters”, (if they should happen to read this and recognize that I am talking about them;)
If you read this, you’re too fucking close.
posted by MizfiTroll at 5:38 AM
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