Back in the day
Back in the day, when I was just a wee Trollsprout growing up in the hills of Northeast Ohio, I spend a bit of time walking the highways of the area.
“Why in the name of all things Trollish would you do that?” I hear you asking. (I would appreciate it if you would ask a little bit quieter. You don’t have to yell. I’m right here.)
I did it because that’s how I could go see my friends. Back then, you did not go to Mommy or Daddy and ask for a ride to go see your friend that lived a mile or two away.
You would walk there, or not go at all. Riding a bike was flirting with death, as the roads were narrow and well traveled.
As I recall, at about this period of time we did not even own a car. My father drove the company car and Mom went without. Please understand that our nearest neighbor was 1/2 mile away and the nearest store of any kind was more than six miles away. It was the dark ages, after all, and things were much more primitive back then.
On my treks for companionship, I became introduced to Road Refuse. Road Refuse is things that either have fallen out of a passing vehicle, or things that are thrown out of a passing vehicle. We now call it litter. (I just can’t resist alliteration, sometimes.)
I would find all kinds of things, but for some reason, I mostly remember finding quite a bit of porn, or what we would call nowdaze, ‘pornlite’. Back then, the sight of a naked breast would make me think I was in Heaven, and that was about the level of the porn that I was finding, so things worked out OK.
Flash forward to present day; MizfiTroll has been seen riding his bicycle around the roads of South Texas, still with an eye toward Road Refuse.
I have noticed something; I am seeing quite a lot of farm equipment catalogs. Enough that I have become convinced that the teenage boys down here must masturbate to pictures of tractors and other large farm equipment. (There is more evidence than just that, but frankly, it is just a little gross, and I would prefer not to go into it at this time. Let’s just say it involves latex gloves and certain bovine lubricants, OK?) **
Upon further observation, I am even more convinced. I have noticed that the nubile teenage girls often seem to be wearing panties and underwear that are the color commonly called John Deere green. This frightens me. (NO, I have not been baby snaking, just observing.)
I realize that this is an agricultural area, but has the youth of America become so jaded by sex on TV and radio that they are turning to this? (and no jokes about ’autoeroticism’.)
On the other hand, maybe I am missing an opportunity. I should go into the Agriporn business, pictures of real naked women on farm equipment, looking provocative and stimulating the imagination of pubescent farmers. Nothing hardcore, of course, just attractive, naked young women sitting on tractors while fondling corn and other suggestive vegetables.
Catch the boys at a young enough age and get them thinking about damsels and not diesel. Introduce them to naked titties at about thirteen and a glimpse of bush at about fifteen. Keep the dream alive. (No pink. They have to learn to go for pink on their own.)
It’s time someone did something to get the minds of rural boys off of tractors and back on girls where they belong. Where else is the next generation of farmers going to come from? We need to keep our boys and girls on the farm, breeding up a passle of other would be farmers to help keep America fat. (I mean fed)
**(And as a side note, there is some man down here that has been charged with having sex with a dog. They have evidence. He videotaped the act. His girlfriend gave the police the tape. They busted her for knowing about the act and not acting more quickly. She waited until they had a fight. There were other acts in the tape as well. This seems to be a somewhat sexually diverse environment.
Let me just say, “Ewwwwwwwwww!!.”)
“Why in the name of all things Trollish would you do that?” I hear you asking. (I would appreciate it if you would ask a little bit quieter. You don’t have to yell. I’m right here.)
I did it because that’s how I could go see my friends. Back then, you did not go to Mommy or Daddy and ask for a ride to go see your friend that lived a mile or two away.
You would walk there, or not go at all. Riding a bike was flirting with death, as the roads were narrow and well traveled.
As I recall, at about this period of time we did not even own a car. My father drove the company car and Mom went without. Please understand that our nearest neighbor was 1/2 mile away and the nearest store of any kind was more than six miles away. It was the dark ages, after all, and things were much more primitive back then.
On my treks for companionship, I became introduced to Road Refuse. Road Refuse is things that either have fallen out of a passing vehicle, or things that are thrown out of a passing vehicle. We now call it litter. (I just can’t resist alliteration, sometimes.)
I would find all kinds of things, but for some reason, I mostly remember finding quite a bit of porn, or what we would call nowdaze, ‘pornlite’. Back then, the sight of a naked breast would make me think I was in Heaven, and that was about the level of the porn that I was finding, so things worked out OK.
Flash forward to present day; MizfiTroll has been seen riding his bicycle around the roads of South Texas, still with an eye toward Road Refuse.
I have noticed something; I am seeing quite a lot of farm equipment catalogs. Enough that I have become convinced that the teenage boys down here must masturbate to pictures of tractors and other large farm equipment. (There is more evidence than just that, but frankly, it is just a little gross, and I would prefer not to go into it at this time. Let’s just say it involves latex gloves and certain bovine lubricants, OK?) **
Upon further observation, I am even more convinced. I have noticed that the nubile teenage girls often seem to be wearing panties and underwear that are the color commonly called John Deere green. This frightens me. (NO, I have not been baby snaking, just observing.)
I realize that this is an agricultural area, but has the youth of America become so jaded by sex on TV and radio that they are turning to this? (and no jokes about ’autoeroticism’.)
On the other hand, maybe I am missing an opportunity. I should go into the Agriporn business, pictures of real naked women on farm equipment, looking provocative and stimulating the imagination of pubescent farmers. Nothing hardcore, of course, just attractive, naked young women sitting on tractors while fondling corn and other suggestive vegetables.
Catch the boys at a young enough age and get them thinking about damsels and not diesel. Introduce them to naked titties at about thirteen and a glimpse of bush at about fifteen. Keep the dream alive. (No pink. They have to learn to go for pink on their own.)
It’s time someone did something to get the minds of rural boys off of tractors and back on girls where they belong. Where else is the next generation of farmers going to come from? We need to keep our boys and girls on the farm, breeding up a passle of other would be farmers to help keep America fat. (I mean fed)
**(And as a side note, there is some man down here that has been charged with having sex with a dog. They have evidence. He videotaped the act. His girlfriend gave the police the tape. They busted her for knowing about the act and not acting more quickly. She waited until they had a fight. There were other acts in the tape as well. This seems to be a somewhat sexually diverse environment.
Let me just say, “Ewwwwwwwwww!!.”)
posted by MizfiTroll at 6:32 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home