How to ruin a marriage

I once knew a couple that I thought were the poster children for the marriage made in hell. They both thrived on excitement and drama. They were both married for the second time and should have known better. They both had children from the previous marriage. They each brought more baggage into their relationship than could be fit in a freight box.

I saw them use techniques on each other that I have only heard of being used in mental institutions, cults, and brain washing facilities.

The wife would always keep her husband confused as to what was actually going on. She took over his business, his checkbook, and all of his investments. She directed his social life and scheduled his appointments. She became his mother. I think that she even told him how to dress. She would change things at random and not tell him. She would make appointments for him, then never tell him, them blame him for not being there.

She ran his business into the ground, forcing him to sell everything. Then she blamed him.

(I would like to point out that he had grown a rather nice business from practically nothing, owned commercial property, and was working everyday. In less than two years he had so sell his vehicles, his property, and his house.)

These are some of the techniques that I saw her use. She was quite adept and made very good use of each and every one.

If your spouse is never really clear on what is going on, then they are always open to manipulation. If a person's grasp on reality is never rock hard, then they can be easily swayed to another person's will. In a relationship, it clearly defines who is "wearing the pants" without taking actual responsibility. Control issues modified with a lack of responsibility on everyone's part. Kind of a slick bit of doublethink, I think. Another way of doing the same thing is to have your partner drink a lot and tell them tales of bad behavior that never really took place.

If one is always flying off the handle, one is flying and not thinking of being grounded. Without ground, one is always unsettled and unsteady, wobbling around like a windmill gone wild, whirling which ever way the wind blows. She would have screaming fits over the smallest thing not going her way, but would never become open to a solution to a problem unless it created more confusion. She would endlessly confront others, but never accept responsibility for anything.

This gal acted like her naughty bits were made of gold and far more precious. She would withhold sex as a tool to get whatever she wanted. She would brag about it to her friends. Her hubby never had the sense to just jack off and do without. She definitely has him by the short and curlies. He was a fine example if the phrase, “When a man gets an erection, all the blood runs away from his brain.” Before he even married her, he had bought her new silicone implants that she displayed proudly.

He certainly could not be called blameless in this thing. He let her do all these things because he was afraid of conflict. He would put himself into the hospital before standing up for himself. Marrying this gal magically removed his spine, making him incapable of remaining vertical without someone holding him up.

I don’t have a good ending. I lost touch with them (On purpose) and let them go their merry way. I heard about how they were doing for a couple of years, and then everyone lost interest as they fell off the face of the earth.

I can see them in my minds eye, seasoned citizens, still living together and fighting nonstop. She is accusing him of lusting after the wheelchair bound lady in the apartment next door; he replies that his pecker hasn’t worked in fifteen years.

Let’s face it, they are probably very much in love.