Our bodies are dirty, and in more ways than one.

We live in a very carefully sanitized society. We have managed to remove bodily functions and odors from conversation and everyday living. Plastic seated sanitary pedestals make for swift removal of human waste. Sales of deodorant products run in the billions. Bath items are a holiday favorite. We are taught from a young age that things our bodies do are bad. Children giggle about farts, but adults pretend that they do not even have them, and have created chemical assistance to avoid flatulence.

Modern advertising tells us that menstruation is something that should be only alluded to, (That which shall not be named.) that it is smelly and uncomfortable, and makes women unclean. Defecation is so unclean that we should not even keep the brush that cleans the sanitary pedestal that briefly held the offensive substance.

Sex is so dirty that we never want to tell our kids that parents actually do things like that. When kids learn if it, they say that they can’t imagine parents actually DOING it. Sodomy is unheard of in a large portion of the population, and ignored by most of the rest. Oral sex goes unexplained and masturbation is called ‘unclean’.

Do we really think that putting our head in the sand will make these things go away? Do people think that modern science will somehow magically eliminate and sanitize everything? I thinks that it’s time we face it; we shit, fart, piss, and leak. We want to fuck. Our bodies, on some level that we do not talk to, want us to perform wanton acts of a decidedly uninhibited nature, giving ourselves to the moment, and leaving us with things to regret.

Yet we hide these things behind the closed doors of our minds. We generally associate our past behavior as ‘bad decisions’, or ‘my wild days’, or ‘ I was really drunk at the time’. Being drunk has become the excuse for doing those things that you really wanted to do in the first place, but were afraid to do without an excuse.

Denial is not how to deal with something; it is how to avoid it.

I don’t condone overindulgence, I certainly do not condone stupidity, but I do think that being aware of what your body is doing behind your back (figuratively speaking) is a very good idea. Knowledge is power, and knowing that your body is telling you to be a whore is the key to prevention of becoming that whore.

I personally think eating is far nastier than sex. All that chomping, sipping, burping, and spitting leads to disgusting little food bits all over the place. Next time you are at the table in a restaurant, take a moment to just LISTEN. I assure you that you will be offended. Mastication is more disgusting than masturbation, mostly because we do it in public. (The former, not the latter.)(I hope.)

We choose to eat in public, but most of us harbor fears of public eating-places. We trust that the government will protect us from the unmentionable germs that make our intestines go all grumbly. All it takes is one nasty kitchen helper that gets in a hurry and forgets to wash his hands to make a bunch of strangers sick enough to throw up that expensive meal.

Public bathrooms are possibly the most repulsive paces on earth. The filth is visible in a lot of places, especially on the sinks, yet that sink is just the place we are supposed to sanitize out hands. That seems to me to be like washing your hands in the toilet. Those signs that remind the workers to wash their hands are about as effective as telling a teen that touching him/her self will make ‘em go blind.

Let’s all agree that germs and ‘dirty things’ are out there and trying to get us.  Like terrorists, nature is out to reduce our numbers and send us back to the stone age. Natural selection is waiting in the wings to change our future.

Welcome to the Future!