The Noble Turkey

The turkey is often maligned in thought and word. (“You turkey.”) Yet this noble bird is willing, nay eager, to sacrifice its very life for the feasting pleasure of us humans.

(“Gobble” in turkey speak means, “Please feast upon my flesh that I might become one with you.” They are emotionally twisted creatures, but so are cows. I think that is part of what makes ‘em so tasty.)

“Tofurkey” is an insult to both man and bird. To have such a noble bird’s tasty flesh replaced by a gelatinous mass of vegetable protein is just intolerable, unacceptable, and MUST be stopped!

This Thanksgiving will see us in the Trollhouse gnawing real turkey flesh, (injected with Cajun seasonings, deep fried in peanut oil, and simply delicious) and savoring every morsel.

So take THAT Mr. Vegetarian! They WANT us to eat them! It is their very reason for living!