Handshake

For the first time in over 30 years I have joined the union.

I am not happy about it.

I have never been a union kinda guy. I think that modern unions promote mediocrity in the workplace and I try to be better than ordinary. I try pretty damn hard.

But this particular project is union only, so my company is paying my fees and dues. Not a bad deal, really, but it made me sad when I learned that I got a better raise just this last year than the union has managed to negotiate the last seven years put together.

This morning was just another nail in the crate that contains my feelings for the union.

This being an election year, about once a week there are people standing carefully just outside the gate to the jobsite, distributing dimocrat flyers. I usually just hand the flier back, growl, and walk away.

This morning there was an added twist. There was a candidate standing with them, being “with the peeple” and pressing flesh.

I tried to walk around her, but she was having none of it. She maneuvered right in front of me and thrust out her hand while saying, ”Hi. My name is (insert female minority name here) and I am running for Congress. I hope you will vote for me.”

I did not say the first thing that came to mind. I clamped my mouth shut with a force that she had to have heard. I politely shook her hand and left.  

I got about thirty feet before I felt it was appropriate to finally let it out. I said, “I will rot in hell first,” out loud but not loud enough for her to hear.

I got some funny looks from other people that were nearby, but it was worth it not to go all Troll on a stranger in public.

But I was careful to wash my hand with alcohol as soon as I could. You can’t be too careful. I heard Liberalism might be catching.