Happy Thanksgiving

Like many Americans, we are a family with pets. We share our house with two dogs and three cats, not to mention the famous terrorist goldfish, Remington. The cats and dogs have established an uneasy truce, with the cats maintaining ‘Base’ areas where they are not pestered by dogs. It return, the cats will knock items off high places for the dogs to chew, picking only the most valuable things that belong to me. They do not touch things that smell of Mrs. Troll. All the pets ADORE Mrs. Troll.

Today, however, they all have been acting a bit strange. The dogs, usually fawning creatures with love in their eyes and slobber on their lips, have been going out of their way to avoid me. The cats are doing happy cat things, like playing tag in front of the dogs to tease them. It’s obvious that the cats are up to something. After hours of gentle persuasion with rolled newspaper and threats of the imaginary ‘CATapult’, the truth came out. (Have you ever tried to interrogate a cat? Its not easy!)

One of the cats told the dumber of the two dogs that we eat DOG for thanksgiving. Not being the most gifted of creatures, the dog fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Now I have an emotional wreck of a dog, Mrs. Troll thinks I have been torturing pets before breakfast, and the cats are having the time of their lives, laughing their little kitty laughs behind their paws. I know they are laughing at the dogs and I.

The stepTrolls are adding to the confusion by telling their mother that I kept them up late last night sharpening my knives and interrogating the cat. The dog overheard and went zipping into the bedroom to hide under the bed. Mrs.Troll is trying to persuade her to come out with promises of treats and protection from me.

While she is in the bedroom, the cats are eyeing the turkey that is on the counter, awaiting it’s slathering of aromatic oils and herbs. The first one that so much as sniffs too closely shall be bound for exile in the garage before it can switch a tail in righteous indignation.

The phone has been ringing off the hook, friends are canceling dinner with us, and the tension mounts.

I can see that it is going to be a fun day.