Jimmy Neutron's Mom
The Mrs. called late last week with the news; “Jimmy Neutron’s Mom is working at (insert national cafeteria name here)! You HAVE to see this!”
(For those of you that are wondering who ‘Jimmy Neutron’ is, he is a preteen child genius cartoon character with a big head, big brain, big hair, and an even bigger ego.)
The woman that the Mrs. wanted to show to me did in fact look remarkably like Jimmy Neutron’s mom. So much so that I started called her Mrs. Neutron. The lady either did not appreciate the joke or did not understand it. Such is life.
Frankly, I was not in the mood for much joking anyway. The crowds were getting to me and my fellow patrons put me in mind of a drug rehab center cafeteria. The stench of life’s losers was all over the place, and it has only been open for a few months.
There is something about this season that brings out the homicidal trends in me. I am not a happy camper, and when "The Little Drummer Boy” comes on the infernal noise pollution unit in the ceiling I just want to throttle the next drug addled fellow patron that I see.
I did manage to control my rage until we left, but by then even the Mrs. was looking for a handgun dealer with that look on her face that guarantees that no one in his or her right mind will ever sell her a gun of any kind.
When I was secured safely in the car I could relax a little, but not much until we were out of that seedy neighborhood.
It really is a good idea to keep me away from people this time of year. It would just take one playing of “It’s a Small World After All” to set me all postal and crazy(ier).
I am convinced that this holiday season brings out both the best and the worst in people, and I usually see the worst. Shopping becomes and endurance test of my patience. The public becomes myopic and insensitive, not seeing what is going on around them or just not caring one little whit. People become incredibly quick to anger and greed becomes a force of nature as powerful as wind but not quite as forgiving.
My new holiday season slogan is a take off of something I saw on a really bad movie, but sums up my feelings nicely:
ALL CREATURES MAKE MERRY UNDER PENALTY OF GUILT
(For those of you that are wondering who ‘Jimmy Neutron’ is, he is a preteen child genius cartoon character with a big head, big brain, big hair, and an even bigger ego.)
The woman that the Mrs. wanted to show to me did in fact look remarkably like Jimmy Neutron’s mom. So much so that I started called her Mrs. Neutron. The lady either did not appreciate the joke or did not understand it. Such is life.
Frankly, I was not in the mood for much joking anyway. The crowds were getting to me and my fellow patrons put me in mind of a drug rehab center cafeteria. The stench of life’s losers was all over the place, and it has only been open for a few months.
There is something about this season that brings out the homicidal trends in me. I am not a happy camper, and when "The Little Drummer Boy” comes on the infernal noise pollution unit in the ceiling I just want to throttle the next drug addled fellow patron that I see.
I did manage to control my rage until we left, but by then even the Mrs. was looking for a handgun dealer with that look on her face that guarantees that no one in his or her right mind will ever sell her a gun of any kind.
When I was secured safely in the car I could relax a little, but not much until we were out of that seedy neighborhood.
It really is a good idea to keep me away from people this time of year. It would just take one playing of “It’s a Small World After All” to set me all postal and crazy(ier).
I am convinced that this holiday season brings out both the best and the worst in people, and I usually see the worst. Shopping becomes and endurance test of my patience. The public becomes myopic and insensitive, not seeing what is going on around them or just not caring one little whit. People become incredibly quick to anger and greed becomes a force of nature as powerful as wind but not quite as forgiving.
My new holiday season slogan is a take off of something I saw on a really bad movie, but sums up my feelings nicely:
ALL CREATURES MAKE MERRY UNDER PENALTY OF GUILT
posted by MizfiTroll at 7:29 AM
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