Long Night

Standing on a busy street corner, watching Robin Williams taking a shit on a glass coffee table, wiping his ass with a pregnant tissue paper Brittany Speers.

A crosswalk light changes, informing me that it is now time to cross the street. I step from the curb and am immediately struck down by a flying fish with ‘carp’ tattooed on its side in large, fluorescent orange, lettering.

The fish then begins sharing a tale about the lettering and how he was so pleased with the shop that did the tattoo and what a fine job they did and how he really likes the artist and that he tried to exchange sexual favors to pay for the tattoo, but the artist was not into fish. The shop owner, however, referred the fish to a friend, but at this time the fish lost interest in his own story and swam away in an errant breeze.

I am now standing in the street, alone and confused, wondering where I was going to before the fish stopped me, and the storm sewer opens up and swallows me whole.

The storm sewer turns out to be the chocolate tunnels from Willy Wonka’s Factory, and it sweeps me along for miles and miles where I accidentally learn the deep, dark, secret of the candy world; Hersheys Chocolate is manufactured from stolen Willy Wonka tunnel sludge.

I start looking for an escape route to share this information with the world and incidentally making myself a pile of money when the liquid chocolate rears up and forms into a chocolate Hulk Hogan, intent upon destroying me and keeping the secret.

That’s when I woke up.

No more salmon burritos before bedtime for me!