The Drive from Hell

How I Thought I Was Going to Die on My Summer Vacation

The Mrs. arrived at my trailer site at about 11AM on Friday, yabbering on her cell phone at her work and making weird gestures at me from the safety of her car. (Some people can’t seem to talk without hand gestures.) We were both excited about our first vacation in years.

We actually got off to a good start. The weather was fine, we were both in good moods just to be getting on the road, and life was good.

We were taking a route that she had taken before with her Mother and Grandmother. She guaranteed that the scenery was the very best and that it was a lovely drive. She forgot, however, that things can be perceived differently when you are dragging four tons of portable home behind you.

We were going from Santa Fe NM to Ouray Colo. What I did not know is that this route (550) takes us through three mountain passes and that the road in places is not very wide at all. At times this road was just barely two lanes, no shoulder whatsoever, and a sheer drop of what seems like miles.

I am scared of heights. I am not making things up when I tell you that there is NO shoulder and no guardrail and a drop of literally many hundreds of feet just inches from the wheels of the car. A stone falling from the edge of the white line would easily roll/fall for a fifth of a mile in some places. I was scared shitless. My seat now has a permanent imprint where I was gripping it with my ass cheeks.

We drove past a monument to the lives lost in the making of that road. It did not make me feel any better.

The last twenty something miles was seriously downhill, with warning signs that look like they are sideways because there are so many turns and switchbacks in the road. When you are towing a large something that is rather top heavy, you pay attention to those yellow suggested speed signs, and I do not recall seeing one that was faster than 15 miles per hour.

It was a long and very stressful drive that I will not repeat.

Of course we did not find the campsite that we had planned on, but I just happy to get out of the truck and decompress. I was still shaking after dinner and a beer. Then I discovered that I parked too close to the signpost and we could not make use of the slide out room.

We left very early the next day.

Destination; Provo, Utah.