Passionate

I drive past a sign twice a day and every time I see it I wonder just what it really means.

In huge, bold, red letters it says, “Passionate for Jesus”.

I think that this concept can be taken many ways; far too many ways to for me to leave it alone.

Are they really passionate for Jesus? Do they offer themselves sexually to a person dead for two thousand years. Do they lay awake at night fantasizing about carnal knowledge of their Lord and Savior?

Creepy….

I can imagine using this concept to create some kind of sex cult, throwing huge orgies in the name of Jesus and having public deflowering of virgins on the stage for all to see. Giving yourself to God takes on a new meaning in their eyes and the truly devout offer themselves to Jesus in ways that we don’t want to think about. The ‘inner church’ performs sexual screenings and devotions on alternate Wednesdays, and bingo prizes are sex manuals and silly rubber adult novelties.

They exorcise venereal diseases with a bath of holy water mixed minister spooge. The orgasm is considered the holiest form of worship and a sure sign of a person’s commitment to God.

But this is just my imagination.

I think that this congregation might want to consider changing the sign to something a little less enthusiastic and maybe just say, “We Love Jesus A Lot”. As soon as you use the word passion, it makes things seem a little weird, like taking upskirt photos of seven year old girls weird.

There are already enough religious deviants in the world. We don’t need to give ‘em ideas.

There are enough weird things in the world already.

Like my imagination.