New Home

This might be my last post.

On Blogger, that is.

The Mrs. has bought us our own domain and I have moved on to newer and cleaner accommodations.

I will now be at http://www.perrocasa.com/blog.

Come over to the new digs and say hello!

Troll for President!

I don’t want to be President.

I think that particular job is more thankless than being a parent, and that is pretty bad.

In my humble opinion, wanting to be the leader of the free world is a stupid thing to want to be. You will be wrong in anything you do, you will be in the public eye doing things that some one will find objectionable no matter what it is, and the whole world will hate you for just being alive.

Just by winning, you will become the very image of evil in the world.

And people actually spend money to get this job? They must be crazy.

But I do have dreams and opinions. Here are some of them;

If I were President I would try to get a law passed that would make part of the punishment for driving drunk being publicly and ceremoniously dipped in the vomit of other drunks three times up to the neck, and then put out in the sun to dry. I think this would do a lot more than slapping someone’s hand and taking away their license. If you take their license, drunks are going to drive anyway. Putting an ignition interlock in the car just assures that drunk drivers are going to have sober passengers.

If I were President, I would initiate a media campaign to promote personal responsibility for one’s actions. I believe this one thing could do more to improve this country than any amount of money put into the education system.

If I were President I would try to grease the wheels to get nuclear power plants back into the system. They are actually rather safe and can make affordable electricity. It also has the PC advantage of not releasing CO2. If we are going to be driving electric cars we need some way to charge them that does not burn coal or food.

If I were President, I would change the way we look at ethanol. Burning food is just a dumb idea, but we might want to look at turning all the stuff that we throw away when we harvest and process food into ethanol. I think it makes more sense to turn the things that we throw away into something that we can burn than wasting corn.

If I were President I would try to treat nuclear waste by mixing it with molten glass and burying it in a big hole in the desert. It would be inert, harmless, and could not deteriorate into the environment. It would decay into something harmless before the glass would.

If I were President I would attempt to reinstate public hanging as the preferred form of capitol punishment. I would also encourage high schools to take classes on field trips to public hangings. Let the little ungrateful bastards watch someone dance on the end of a rope and perhaps they will rethink the concept of shooting random strangers in order to join a gang.

If I were President I would attempt to change the criminal justice system so that it puts offenders in socially uncomfortable environments as opposed to expensive government funded criminal finishing schools. We should chain ‘em to some high rise building to act as the doorman where they depend on tips and good manners in order to eat instead of sending them to a prep school for crime. Put a criminal in a situation where he has to behave in order to eat and he will change his ways of thinking or go without food. I call this a win-win.

If I were President I would try to get society to rethink the prohibitions against cruel and unusual punishment. I think that cruel and unusual punishments are suitable for cruel and unusual deeds. The mother of a prom night dumpster baby needs to learn how cruel her actions were, not just get a slap on the wrist and free therapy for the rest of her life.

If I were President, I would want a nationally instated system requiring anyone that is about to bring a child into this world pass a test measuring their ability to be a responsible parent. Failure of this test means that said child would be unlicensed and therefore unable to get any public assistance, also removing the public assistance of both parental units. The children would, however, be allowed to test into the system after the age of eighteen.

If I were President, I would want the making of frivolous and harassing lawsuits punishable by making the bringer of the suit financially responsible for all costs associated with this waste of time. In the case of prisoners serving time, financial responsibility would equate to additional time on their sentence.

If I were President, I would want to tax convenience. If you have the money to waste at a convenience store, then you deserve to pay a convenience tax to use the services. If you really want that 64 oz. Huge Glurg drink, then you should be prepared to pay just a bit more to do so.

If I were President I would want a system in place to publicly embarrass stupid politicians. Any politician that tried to get a law passed that was remarkably stupid, like making abstinence mandatory for teens, be humiliated in the press and put on a list of persons that show poor judgment.

If I were President I would begin a campaign to get people to stop standing in doorways to chat. To me that is the same thing as stopping in traffic to talk to your friend. There are laws against that.

If I were President I would charge all politicians to do their own taxes without software or outside help of any kind. That one thing would do more toward getting a more equitable tax system than any thing else I can think of.

If I were President I would charge Iraq for security. To hell with this concept of spending our bucks to keep them safe after we did them the favor of ridding them of a Bad Man. We should charge them until they get a government that works, then leave, but charge them for every useful thing that we leave behind. Is that not how capitalism works?

If I were President I would try to pass a law that made all forms of Yellow Journalism illegal.

If I were President I would try to change the welfare system to quit helping people that are capable or qualified for anything. If they had to perform community service in order to get a check I bet that the system would see a change for the better. You can bring the baby with you when it your turn to pick up trash in your neighborhood, don’t ya think?

If I were President I would open up all those areas that are rich in oil to drilling while changing the popular view of alternate energy forms. Frankly, with the price of oil what it is I do not understand why we are shooting ourselves in the foot by not permitting drilling in these areas while other countries do so.

If I were President, I would get more of those giant windmills into the network. Not only do they supply clean energy, but they are pretty to look at.

Well, that’s it for now. I hope I have not damaged your mind in any way that cannot be repaired by thinking about things.