Imagination

I don’t know about you, but my imagination is my relief valve.

If I did not use my imagination productively, I would be dead or in prison somewhere for committing general reduction of the less gifted of the population.

I am not particularly tolerant of stupid, and I work with and see stupid every day.

So I turn my homicidal tendencies into mental videos. One of my favorites is an offender being boxed, and that box being filed with expanding foam sealant. I have a lot of soothing images just like that one. They help keep me sane.

If I didn’t, I would be one of those people that takes a large weapon to a high place and shoots strangers at random before taking his life in a dramatic fashion. (Actually, I would never do such a thing. I feel that shooting strangers from a distance is too impersonal. If one really wants to do such a thing, it should be face-to-face and intimate. I am sure you get the idea.)

If I happen to threaten you with climbing your abdomen, reaching down your throat, grabbing your intestines, and then wrapping them around your throat to strangle you, just be thankful that I have shown self control and used my imagination instead of my anger.

If I just call you a filthy name, it means that I probably like you.

People

I do not understand people.

I don’t get it when someone wants something from me and then acts like it’s an imposition for him or her to actually have to do something like wait for an answer. Contrary to popular belief I have things in my life that I consider more important than you wanting a cord of wood from a friend of a friend that I see almost as often as I say nice things about my co-workers.

I don’t get it when I try to do a favor for someone and they feel they can lecture me on how I could have done it better, or faster, or in a manner that would make them feel all warm and fuzzy. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t spend time waiting just to satisfy someone else’s desires.

I don’t get it when I am in the middle of something that is important to me and someone wants to interrupt my thought just to satisfy his or her urges, then get pissey when I am short with them. Contrary to popular belief, I do not look forward to having people intrude into my personal space just to pass the time.

If you do any of these things, then just stop it. If you think I am talking about you, then get over yourself. I am talking in general.

I just needed to vent.

(I would like it to be known that no animals, people, or even vegetables were hurt in the writing of this post. In my imagination, however, the hospitals are full….)

The Criminal Mind

I just watched a surveillance video on TV and was shocked at what one of the hold up men did.

He looked at the camera, realized he was being video recorded, left the building, then returned with his face covered.

What in hell was he thinking? Did he really believe that his going out the door and coming back in would erase the images already recorded? Did he think he would not be recognized? Did he think that the people who watch the video would forget seeing him leave? Did he think at all?

I have been convinced for years that to be a common criminal it is necessary that you be somewhat intellectually challenged. Let’s face facts; if they were smarter they would probably be better at their jobs instead of ending up in jail all the time.

Learning that some schmuck got pulled over for driving 20 miles over the limit when he had ten pounds of cocaine and one hundred pounds of pot in the car strikes me as a bit…..well…..STUPID! Does it not make sense that if you are committing a felony it might be a good idea to pay attention to the other laws as well?

I wonder if there is a special ‘Prison for Dummies’ section in the penal library.

Teenagers

I have four kids in a way. I have two that were reputed to be spawn of my loins and two that are the result of the coupling of the Mrs. Troll and her first husband. The StepTrolls came into my life when they were about five years old and I have tried to treat them as my own.

My BioTrolls were on their own before I even met the StepTrolls, or the future Mrs.Troll. There was never an intermingling of the kids or an excuse for sibling rivalry.

Now the StepTrolls are growing up and becoming teenagers and I have noticed that they have something very much in common with the BioTrolls.

They are all ungrateful teenagers and selfish as hell.

What is there about puberty that turns kids from attention mongering little pet-like things to self-absorbed devil spawn, anxious to prove their independence while sucking up your resources?

It must be the stuff that the government puts in the water to make us ignore the cost of gasoline and keep buying things we don’t really need.

It could never be a parent’s fault.

My not so New Friend

My New Friend (See post below) managed to make it almost a whole week as an employee.

The powers-that-be decided that he really was not what we are looking for in a new employee. (Translation: They want someone that can finish a project in reasonable time, not take a week to finish eight hours of work.)

So now I am lonely again. Oh what shall I do?? (Batting eyelashes and looking coy.)

I shall go on as before. Thinking challenged people are plentiful and easy to get all stirred up.

It's not easy being a Troll.

(I lied. Yes it is. And I LIKE it!)



I do not know what the things to the left are. I think Blogger just farted.

The powers

The powers-

Damn pretentious server

Blogger pisses me off more often than not.

I have a system to making posts. That system involves writing posts and looking at them for a while before I put them up, just to make sure that I don’t make too big an ass out of myself.

I use the Word plugin that will let me post from the word processor, a feature that I like a lot.

Except that a lot of the time the damn thing will not work, gives me an error message, and makes me want to rip the intestines out of someone that I have never met.

Someday, when I get my head out of my ass, I will buy a real website and the proper software.

In the meantime I will remain pissed off and posting whenever the damn server will PERMIT me to.

Damn pretentious server….

My new friend

We have been hiring new people at work.

When the new guys come on the crew I usually try to give ‘em a hand up and try to show ‘em how we do things. Kinda help ‘em out and point ‘em in the right direction.

Tuesday the new guy decided that we are doing things all wrong and was not shy about sharing his opinion. He was not shy in the first half hour of his being there. He was not shy several times his first day. He was not shy every time I spoke to him. He was not shy with a lot of other people as well. He was also not shy when he shared with me that he does not like my attitude.

So I decided to let the new guy prove that he is capable, since he seems to think he knows everything already and openly refuses my help or direction.

He took a whole day to do something that any other member of the crew would do in about an hour. Then it fell to the ground in a great crashing of wood products and high dollar hospital casework.

As way of explanation for the great crashing, he told the boss that I have been picking on him and that I don’t like him. He told the boss that walls are wrong and that the great crashing is not his fault.

I can see that we are going to get along just fine………..(I am sure you can’t see it, but the sarcasm is running from the corner of my mouth.)

The best part of this whole thing is that I won’t have to do anything at all to him, he will do it all to himself and try to blame me, everyone, and everything else.

Sometimes it’s TOO easy…….

WTF?

Overheard in the hallways at work;

"I think I have carpal tunnel vision."

My Labor Day

My Labor Day began with a skull splitting headache. I woke at 3:00AM to the throbbing of head drums and the natives were pounding with war clubs from the inside.

Finally, after avoiding any contact with just about anything, I began to recover at about 3:00 PM, pretty much ruining my holiday.

But I actually had not planned on doing much, so it really wasn’t a total waste. It was just uncomfortable.

Such is life.

Rain

It has been raining in New Mexico. Raining a lot. Raining so much that the news is sharing stories of towns flooding almost every day.

I am loving it. (The rain, not flooding.)

Living on the side of a mountain has its advantages. Our neighborhood is built in such a manner that water runs away from us, not to us.

I can now delight in something that plumbers brag about and that I get to see firsthand:

Water runs downhill.

If you happen to live at the bottom of a hill, well… it must suck to be you.